Issue 08: Judgement Day
Judgement day
By Loulou Von Spiel
Why we shouldn’t be scared of judging or being judged on social media.
These days, being judged seems to be the ultimate nightmare. You don’t believe me? Try posting an update on your social media profile including the words “I am judging you”. Grab a cup of tea and watch while your page comes alive with ugly red faced emojis, and you get unfollowed faster than you can say “cancel culture sucks!”
While happily spewing diatribes and opinions about everything and everyone else, your average social media addict can’t take the heat themselves.
And let’s face it: we have all been there.
Somebody should have warned us that in the jungle that is social media, judgement is unavoidable. While the word originally doesn’t have to equate criticism, it is loaded with negative connotations, implying the person judging you is doing so from a position of superiority.
But here’s the catch: why do you take judgement personally? If you value your own actions and opinions, and are confident enough to share them on social media, you must be convinced they have some value, so why does somebody else’s views end up making you feel so vulnerable?
Judgement is everywhere, yet paradoxically, accepted by no one.
The current social media trend has now moved away from avoiding disagreement online for fear of causing offense, to supporting a chorus of popular one–sided views, resulting in discourse which may be silence valid views and amplify harmful ones. There are many influencers whose whole success relies on solely stirring up controversy, who have capitalised on polarisation.
I suspect what most of us are hoping for is validation. But why let a stranger’s remarks carry so much weight when they will likely be irredeemably shallow and uninformed? Even trolls, in their narcissistic attempt to create a response, are desperate to be acknowledged.
Meanwhile, it is a disease of this century that nobody sees criticism as a road to improvement.
Hear me out: being judged can be good for you.
View judgement as a form of feedback. It can make you consider you may not be as perfect as you think. It can be an opportunity for personal growth and gratitude. The person judging you could be right. Either that or they may be a toxic human, in which case, celebrate that they are not on your team
On flip side of the coin, have you ever been accused of being judgemental? Isn’t it a painful indictment? Most of us would rather be tagged ignorant! It may be an insidious tactic to turn the tables on someone who may actually have a point. But, if the truth is too much to bear, the accusation of being judgemental will annihilate. If judgement is being thrown back at you, it doesn’t feel good, does it?
In summary, instead of rejecting it, embrace judgement, take what it has to offer. Learn to stick to your guns and be strong in your values, yet remain insightful and practise the art of speaking fairly. And know when to apologise… but only if you mean it.
While assertiveness is impressive, meanness is not. Feeling judged yet?
