Issue 08: Honour Your Values, Build Your Self-Worth
HONOUR YOUR VALUES, BUILD YOUR SELF-WORTH
By Vinitha
Social media has driven us to constant comparison, and external validation seems to be our primary source of self-worth. So much of our energy goes into creating external perceptions. We do this to feel seen, heard and understood, and often end up associating outward validation with our self-worth. But soon we realise the emptiness of this path. We are chasing an elusive ideal. Because it never ends, does it?
All the worthiness we have is within ourselves, and all that really matters is accepting ourselves and improving on the work of art that is us. But we all know the theory. So how do we live it?
Self–worth is valuing yourself. This means staying true to your principles, setting boundaries, prioritizing your time with activities that fulfil you, and building confidence through discipline. The beauty of knowing your self–worth has immeasurable benefits in all your relationships and outcomes, because you then show up as your most secure, confident and grounded self.
Let’s dive deeper into how to build your self-worth:
Determine your authentic values
Determining what your values are will help you to understand what you truly care about so you can ensure that the people and circumstances around you are aligned to them. This is so important when it comes to your relationships, both platonic and romantic.
Knowing what your values are alerts you to avoid individuals and situations that would drain your energy, while allowing you to gravitate towards individuals and situations that would lift you up. For example, if you value respect, but have friends that are not treating you or others respectfully, that’s a sign that those relationships are not right for you, as they will build resentment in you and distract your energy from more meaningful interactions with others. When you face a situation where you feel an internal battle or discomfort, listen to it, and use it to guide you towards what you value.
A few examples of values are: respect, honesty, loyalty, freedom, learning, courage, humility, compassion, kindness, wisdom, amongst others.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries are important so we can set expectations for how we want to be treated. We are responsible for setting and respectfully communicating them so we’re protecting our peace, time, and energy. If we know what our boundaries are and stay true to them, we show up as the secure version of ourselves. For example, if one of your values is loyalty, and you find yourself in a relationship where you know you’re being lied to, it’s time to move away from that relationship.
Some examples of setting healthy boundaries are: not responding to email or messages after work hours, choosing when you are available for others, and prioritizing what you spend your energy on with a sense of discipline and accomplishment.
We signal to others and to ourselves that we respect our time and energy when we establish boundaries. The better you become at communicating your boundaries respectfully, the stronger your relationships become because you are not harbouring resentment at feeling disrespected or mistreated, however unintentional.
Setting the right boundaries in friendships, romantic relationships and the workplace will help others understand you better and help you stay true to your authentic self. Some boundaries can be negotiable and others non-negotiables, and it’s up to us to understand the difference based on what matters most to us. Don’t forget to be alert to others’ boundaries too! It works both ways.
Pour into your hobbies and interests
Making time for your hobbies is an empowering way to cultivate self-worth. Focusing on your interests helps you develop a deeper sense of self and self-awareness in that process.
By having a better relationship with yourself and showing up for your hobbies, you’re honouring the child inside, its sense of play and exploration. The time that you spend alone, with your thoughts, or doing something you’re passionate about, develops confidence and self–worth, comfort with your self – and guarantees you’ll never feel lonely or bored.
My grandma is a perfect example of this. She’s a woman has gained respect by setting boundaries around her time, ensuring she can engage in the activities that make her the strong woman she is.
Build confidence by practicing discipline
Confidence is built through keeping the promises we make to ourselves. However, showing up for our promises takes discipline. For example, if I want to prioritize my health, I promise myself I will wake up early and go to the gym. Doing so gives me a sense of accomplishment, which in turn builds confidence.
We need discipline and consistence in order to live our values, set boundaries and pursue our hobbies and interests.
In summary…
By holding true to your values, setting boundaries, pouring into your hobbies and building discipline, you will see significant changes in the relationship you have with yourself, as well as your relationships with others.
The more you prioritise your self–worth, the less time you will spend on pursuing or maintaining the wrong relationships and tolerating behaviors that deplete you. As women we are often told to be polite, kind and accepting. However, I’m here to refute that belief system and empower you to stand up for your values, pour energy back into yourself, and work on strengthening your relationship with yourself. And then, truly accept how powerful and worthy you are.
Vinisha
I’m Vinisha, a health and wellness content creator and marketer. I was born and raised in Chile and now live in the US. I’m passionate about hormonal health, creating healthy recipes and working out. In my free time you can find me at a pilates or yoga class, reading a book, on a walk in nature (preferably by water) or in the kitchen creating healthy recipes. One of my main goals is to inspire other women to gain awareness of their hormonal health and feel empowered to make the best health decisions to optimize their mood, energy and wellbeing through proper nutrition, exercise and lifestyle habits.
