Issue 06: Dear Ceci
Dear Ceci
I feel depressed because I find it very hard to refuse anyone, even if what he or she asks for is beyond reason and I am being taken advantaged of. I hate myself for this but I do not have the courage to reject. What should I do?
Born to Say Yes
Dear Born to Say Yes
I understand how convenient it seems to just follow the words of people who give us stress, especially when we are emotionally attached to them. Most of the time, we surrender to avoid conflicts in our relationships because we care so much about them and just the thought of hurting their feelings scares us. Nevertheless, if this becomes a habit, we may feel the escalating tension within our hearts and suffer in various aspects because we compromise our feelings and needs while trying to satisfy other people. To make a change and keep our relationships healthy, we ought to discover who we are, what we want to pursue and set some personal boundaries. As we all have our own goals and purposes to attain in life, we ought to free ourselves from the guilt of saying “no” to others when they violate our limits and rules. Nonetheless, to explain our situation clearly and tenderly, it would be precious to adopt the concept of non-violent communication which reminds us to consider the observations, feelings, needs and requests of each other.
Ceci
Dear Ceci
I am getting so tired of the pandemic, it has been around for two years already and I am so sick of all the health precautions which ruin my life and freedom. I feel chained inside out. What should I do?
Chained Soul
Dear Chained Soul
It is very natural to feel stress and grief during the pandemic, particularly when it has lasted for so long and we are not aware of when it is going to end. To reduce the stress, we may try to take a break from watching, reading or listening to news stories about the pandemic. Moreover, to stay healthy physically and mentally, we may try to exercise regularly, eat well-balanced meals and do activities we enjoy. Obviously, our lives before and during the pandemic have changed drastically, yet the best way to overcome this challenging time is to find a balance between our routine lifestyle and the new normal. Regardless of how the pandemic goes, keeping in touch with our loved ones and our communities, getting plenty of sleep and doing what we enjoy are essential to keep our minds at ease. Furthermore, let’s remember we will never be alone as long as we reach out for support. We are all in this together.
Ceci
Dear Ceci
How do you understand the word “growth”? I am going to be seventeen soon, and I hope to be a mature person whom my parents will be proud of. Would you advise me on what it takes to grow and be mature?
Almost Seventeen
Dear Almost Seventeen
Congratulations, you are coming to the most exciting part of your life when you will decide for your future and become an active member in the society. In my opinion, to grow is to be mature physically, mentally and emotionally. It is easy to spot changes in our physical bodies but it is more difficult to determine whether we are mentally and emotionally mature. Nonetheless, observing whether we are capable of keeping personal boundaries is a good way to check our level of maturity. This means we ought to be able to develop our own beliefs, feelings and actions independent of those around us, like our parents, teachers and friends. Of course, this is not equivalent to ignoring everyone’s feelings altogether, it simply means keeping a good balance between caring for ourselves and others. Take for instance, instead of just giving in, mentally and emotionally mature people who encounter bitter remarks control their emotions and use non-defensive responses (e.g. “I am sorry you are disappointed”, “I am sorry you do not agree with me in this matter”) to prevent conflicts, defend their freedom and control their life decisions. In the long run, it would be helpful to constantly reflect upon the meaning of growth so we may elaborate the art of weighing our options and making good choices in this new stage of life.
Ceci
