Issue 04: How to Lose Weight Easily

How to Lose Weight Easily

I have always been fat. Since I was a small kid, I remember being called “chubby”, although my mom would always point out back then that it was cute. But not long after, my friends started calling me names too. I remember the days when my older brothers invented the term “Kalabakoy” /kala-bak–oy/, a portmanteau of kalabaw, baka and baboy (or water buffalo, a cow and a pig respectively). Imagine being compared to big farm animals! I told myself they didn’t mean to insult or hurt me, and presented a façade of nonchalance. I laughed it off and told them I was glad to not be compared to a hippo or elephant.

Although it did not hurt me at the time, those words eventually made me rethink how I viewed myself. I was no longer a child who looked cute with chubby-cheeks and double-chin. Deep inside, I knew that I wanted to lose weight so I would look more “beautiful”. My social environment seemed to agree on that thought. It also didn’t help that my heartthrob in school was an athlete who started courting skinny girls. The popular ones were always the good-looking students who were given flowers and gifts at proms and school events. Those were the days when school became a hardship.

I convinced myself that I was not attractive or beautiful, and not just because of my size. I was chubby, dark and pimple-faced, living in a society that constantly reinforced the concept of beauty as being slim, fair and smooth. My self-esteem took a nose dive. Even my curly hair became an issue when hair–straightening started trending! I constantly compared myself with others, even my closest friends. They were given attention for both being pretty and intelligent. Never mind that I once had the highest grades in class.

The moment I began to feel insecure of myself… was the beginning of a problem.

I thought that being skinny would make me more socially acceptable. I tried all sorts of diets and regimens to for quick weight loss. Our school nutritionist recommended a dietary plan, but I became impatient with its results. I jumped into a drastic low-calorie diet with a high-intensity work-out… without understanding and preparing my body. This diet left my body with almost nothing to burn. The extreme workouts and absence of calories left me with, well, no energy to survive the week. I lost some pounds fast, but I also lost my my mental agility and focus. My grades dropped. So I stopped that diet, and flipped to the other extreme, regaining more than my original weight.

After that experiment, someone else recommended a crash diet of only soup with small chunks of meat, potatoes, beans, carrots, and celery. Apparently, it was nutritionally balanced and would not starve me. I asked my sister to cook a week’s supply and to place them in small containers. I tried the soup for two days but barely survived because of its awful taste. I decided to stop because I felt nauseated just by the smell. I’ve had an aversion to celery since then.

Eventually, I tried a fasting regimen that allowed as much nutritious meals in specific schedules. I complemented this with appropriate workouts. After a week, I lost several pounds. I felt lighter, so happy and proud of myself, that I decided to continue for a few more weeks.

One day, I attended a family gathering with relatives I had not seen for quite some time. Then some random cousin candidly approached me and said, “How are you? You look fat.” Huh?! The heck? I was at a loss for words. Though it was a common “greeting” in my culture (which is very insulting by the way), I never thought it would hurt me so much. Especially when I’d thought my diet and exercise had finally paid off. I could have argued that I had actually lost several pounds already, but I knew it wouldn’t really matter. I still looked awful. With great self-pity, I headed straight to the buffet and devoured as much comfort food as I could. I became heavier than ever before.

I learned two things from this “weight loss journey”:

First, losing weight was so hard because I was insecure about myself. I was unhappy. I had a negative self-perception and constantly compared myself with others. I believed that I was not beautiful enough to be given positive attention. Losing weight was fueled by such insecurity that it killed me whenever someone would comment about my weight. I became obsessed with how people saw me, or more accurately, how I thought they saw me. Sometimes, I felt that the only way they would accept me was if I became slimmer and prettier. In turn, I loathed myself and felt disgusted every time I looked in the mirror. Even if I knew my body had improved, I was still unhappy.

I needed to step back to see the root of my insecurities. I realized that it was because I, too, conformed to the same arrogant and biased notion of beauty ingrained in us for generations. I needed to unlearn that being fat, short, dark and pimple-faced was unattractive. It wasn’t easy. It came with a long, difficult and continuous process of self-talk: I had to tell myself that I was beautiful and worthy of love regardless of my physical characteristics. That I was much, much more valuable than what met the eye. I had to constantly talk myself out of my own discriminatory views so I could free others as well. As they say, “the best weight that you will ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions”.

Second, losing weight was so hard because I made it too hard for me. Drastic measures and crash diets did not work because it deprived my body of the food necessary to function well. It also made my cravings worse, making it harder for me to be consistent. These inconsistencies made me assume that I lacked motivation, self-discipline and willpower so I ended up stress-eating and the cycle of weight gain continued.

To break this, I had to accept that, contrary to what many people believe, weight loss is not just about will-power and self-discipline. There are many other factors to be considered, such as physiological or genetic makeup. Whenever I look at friends’ posts in social media on their weight loss journey especially during this pandemic, I reminded myself that our bodies are different. Our hormones are different. I might have a slower metabolism. Or their bone structure might be much smaller than mine. Similarly, mental health also plays an important role. Some find it more difficult to motivate themselves because they’re fighting other battles such as anxiety or depression. Some may even find doing physical activities embarrassing in front of people. Acknowledging these differences will stop us from beating ourselves up too much. Especially during this pandemic, which has made things worse for everyone — physically, mentally and emotionally.

So how then does one lose weight easily?

My answer is an unpopular opinion on weight loss (and I might get flak for this!): Go easy on yourself.

You are not unbeautiful; you are not unattractive; you are not unworthy of friendships and relationships, regardless of those who say otherwise. Simply focus on improving your health. Don’t be too harsh on yourself through your workout and diet because it might only worsen your physical, mental and emotional health.

Going easy on yourself does not mean you do not set goals. Identify realistic health goals that are aligned with the needs of your body. Again, improving your health should be your primary focus. If you’re a food junkie, start by lowering food portions and intake. Drink lots of water! Consciously remove junk food from your pantry to avoid temptation. When you crave for something sweet, choose healthier options like fruits. Did I say drink water? Be quick to move on after cheat days. If you have the chance, ask your doctor for a dietary plan that suits your body.

For physical activities, find creative and flexible ways to improve your health, ensuring that you still do the things that you love doing. Remember, there’s no need to wait for a specific time to exercise, instead consider adding more movement in your daily activities. For example, I love watching movies on Netflix, so while lying down in bed I try to do some leg or arm raises. I also do crazy stuff like jogging inside the house or dancing when I am taking a shower or washing dishes. I also sometimes set exercise targets that are easy to meet and surpass. In that way, exercising becomes happy and rewarding.

No, I am still far from my ideal weight. But I have gone from 195 pounds to 175 pounds since last year during this pandemic lockdown, and have managed to keep them off. I feel better physically, mentally and emotionally. I still try to improve my health every day, and I think that’s what really matters.