Issue 04: Ask Ceci

Dear Ceci

My best friend and I fall for the same guy. I treasure my friendship very much but I like the guy a lot too, I am afraid this will affect how I get along with my best friend. What should I do?

Torn between Friend and Love

Dear Torn between Friend and Love

It may feel awkward in the beginning to know that you fall for the same guy, but it will be a good start if both of you can open your hearts to talk about your feelings. Honesty and openness will be a good foundation to see the situation clearly and propose a solution wisely. Concerning the guy, it is important to remember he is a unique individual who deserves respect. While he may end up with either or neither one of you, he should not be treated as a prize to be won. Concerning your best friend, challenges occur in all relationships and this situation may be a good chance to verify the strength of your friendship. If it is a relationship that both of you treasure, it will not be rotten just because you fall for the same guy, it may even get stronger because you understand each other more when dealing with the mutual crush. Be open, communicative and honest with your friend and the guy at all times. I am sure you will work it out together.  

Dear Ceci

I feel very stressful because everyone around me asks what I want to be in the future. To be frank, if I don’t know what will happen to me tomorrow, how can I be certain about what I will become 10 years from now? Please tell me how I can get rid of this.

I Don’t See My Future

Dear I Don’t See My Future

I understand the stress you are going through when you are surrounded by questions about how you are doing. It may be a good start to know people mean no harm even if they seem to be putting stress upon you. To avoid them probing into your lives, keep smiling when they are talking to you and interrupt them politely by offering them food or drinks. Remember, you are not entitled to answer all their questions directly, try switching to other relevant topics to continue the conversation whenever necessary. If they ask specifically about you in a certain area, you could associate it with how the area is progressing in the world at the moment. If you have friends who may offer a helping hand, ask them to join the conversation to divert the topic. Furthermore, I am on your side when you say we cannot be certain about what we will become in the future. Try to explore as much as possible before you set your goals. Take your time, feel with your heart and ask for advice before you make a decision. 

Dear Ceci

I want to join an international music competition, but I am so afraid that I would embarrass myself like I did before. I know it is a stumbling block that prevents me from moving on and I really want to join the competition. What can I do?

Freaked Out

Dear Freaked Out

It is not easy to overcome the feelings of embarrassment because we tend to recall them again and again. However, even the best musicians in the world play the wrong chords at times, they have also gone through a long path with ups and downs to become who they are today. To move on to the next page of your music career, think of toddlers who fall and rise a thousand times before they can walk properly. As we get older, let us not forget we were once tough toddlers with perseverance and determination too. Return to the pure child within you and you will find the strength to move on. I wish you all the best in the competition.