Issue 03: A is for Authenticity
A is for Authenticity, by Latitia Kung
On purpose, Not On Trend
One of my mentees phoned me before Christmas to update me on her job search. She didn’t sound her usual self, and when I asked her what was wrong, she seemed full of self doubt, questioning all of her life’s choices. She is an intelligent and driven young woman whose dream had been brand management in the luxury world. She had studied in London and France, and landed a dream internship in Paris before she moved to Shanghai, China (forecast to be the biggest luxury consumer market by 2025). But here she was, exploring a new opportunity, after having career conversations with her HR Director.
“The HR Director told me that they don’t have the position of brand manager because it isn’t ‘trending’ anymore. She advised me to catch the wave of eCommerce, and pursue something “On Trend”.” This young woman was left wondering if she had been wrong all her life. When a 25-year-old young woman doubts her passion and all the decisions in her career right at what should be the beginning of unlimited opportunities in her life, it’s quite heartbreaking to see.
Social approval-seeking will never end
Research published by Anandi Mani and Charles H. Mullin on the relationship of Social Approval and Occupational Choice, shows that more and more people will choose careers based on the social approval factor rather than their skills and passion. Of course, in the digital era, there are more opportunities available for digitally savvy candidates, but as we see with all trends, they come and go. Remember how the Dotcom Bubble burst in 2002? But now Digital is everything. But how long will that last before it becomes business as usual and the market is saturated?
“No one achieves great things by following the crowd.
Have a spine. Strike your own path.”
– Robert Kiyosaki
If J.K. Rowling had stuck to her stable government job, she’d never have written the Harry Potter series. If Julia Child had stayed in advertising and media, she would never have become a celebrity chef. If Vera Wang had pursued her figure skating career, her gorgeous wedding gowns would have not been designed. If Jeff Bezos had stayed at his Wallstreet executive role he’d have never launched Amazon.
If you are too busy catching the next wave or changing your path based on what the trend is, you will have no time to discover what your true talent and passions are. Your talent will only be unleashed when you are true to yourself and align your values with action.
Stop performing, start living
“I am not what I think I am.
I am not what you think I am.
I am what I think you think I am.”
– Charles Horton Cooley.
I’ve been there before. I thought my goal was to develop a career that would make my parents proud, my boss value me and my peers respect me. I loved my job because it was trendy, and I thought that people perceived me as young, bright talent and an important asset. But the sad fact is, it wasn’t because I enjoyed it. All the stars I reached did not contribute to my happiness.
“Darling, we will always love you. We want you to be happy”, “It doesn’t make you less intelligent if you now quit your corporate job. I think you will be able to succeed in whatever path you make efforts on.” “You are the most adventurous person I have ever met, you just bring energy and light up the room.”
These was the message from my mom, my boss and my friends when I decided to drop everything and move to London. I realised that people loved me for my personality, my vibe, my uniqueness and quirkiness. It had nothing to do with my career. I had assumed that people valued me for my career, but it was all in my own mind. I felt a weight lift.
I realised I was trying to be the avatar I had created. These days, people put their avatars on different platforms digitally – Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Youtube. They spend so much energy trying to catch the trend on “Tiktok’ than living in their reality, not realising how fleeting it all is.
“To be on trend” and “Fake it to make it” will not serve you in the long term. It’s hard to pursue mental freedom if you need to constantly be a totally different person.
“The biggest prison is in your own mind, and in your pocket you already hold the key: the willingness to risk; the willingness to release yourself from judgment and reclaim your innocence, accepting and loving yourself for who you really are –human, imperfect, and whole.”
Edith Eva Eger
You are good enough
Your uniqueness and quirkiness is your biggest asset. They represent you! They differentiate you!
“Every person is a world to explore.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh
It’s only possible to create real connection, deep thought and meaningful conservation by authenticity. Don’t be afraid to bring your personality and authentic self to school, work and the conversation.
Live, learn, work, breathe with purpose
Do not spend your whole life chasing something that others value instead of what truly makes you happy. Build something by yourself for yourself, not for others. Build your legacy. Picture your 80 year old self sitting on a bench on a sunny afternoon, proudly smiling from your heart to your eyes, while you think back on your life.
I have coached thousands of women from varied backgrounds and found that no matter what stage of life they’re in, their biggest challenge isn’t about not getting the next promotion, it’s that they feel like they have lost their way or don’t know what their purpose is.
So here is a Japanese framework that has helped millions of people in the world find their purpose. It’s called Ikigai, and is based on four simple principles. “Your ikigai is at the intersection of what you are good at and what you love doing,” says Hector Garcia, the co-author of Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life.
1. What you LOVE (Passion)
2. What you are GOOD AT (Profession)
3. What world NEEDS (Mission)
4. What you can be PAID for (Vocation)
Want to find your Ikigai?
Answer the following four questions:
1. What do I love? What makes me feel genuinely happy and make me smile from my heart when I do it?
2. What am I good at? What do others call on me for when they need an expert?
3. What can I be paid for now — or something that could transform into my future hustle?
4. What does the world need? What can I do to make the world a better place?
May I invite you to start 2021 with an open mind, open heart and open arms? The first step, to love yourself for who you are. The second step, to make every small daily decision that aligns with your value and purpose. And last but not least, to crystalise your purpose with the help of this Ikigai tool.
May your New Year flourish with new discoveries, wonderful inspirations, and happiness to fill your heart.
Latitia Kung
Head of Strategic Partnerships / Certified Purposeful Business and Career Coach
