Issue 02: Respect

Girls grow up with so many misconceptions about what is expected from them, particularly when it comes to the opposite sex.

Deborah Mannas,  met up with Jason (not his real name), a recent graduate, and simply asked him to tell us.

Jason, you’ve just returned from university in the U.K.You have a mixed background and have lived in three Countries! If you think back on your teenage and college years, and your discussions with both male and female friends, what stands out to you as “expectations” on either side?

I believe that during my upbringing there has always been an equal balance of expectations and that I don’t expect more from one gender opposed to the other. I went to an academic secondary school where there was no clear difference between intellectual ability between genders. Following this, I went to Loughborough University, which is renowned for sports with both males and females competing at elite standards. This is definitely a personal perspective on expectations of males and females and it is possible that others might feel differently.

What do you respect in a woman?

This is a difficult question to answer, purely because there are so many aspects of a women that I strongly respect. I feel that the adversity and struggles women have faced throughout history are often unacknowledged. Women have triumphed against inequality, sexism and stereotyping in society, and are continuing this fight today. Therefore, if history isn’t a testimony to the strength of women then I don’t know what is.

Would you say your perspective is shared by other males your age?

I do believe that males are learning to appreciate the role that women play as equal partners in all aspects of society. I think the current woke movement does come into play here by encouraging people to be aware of the social injustices the world currently faces. However, I would say my personal perspective on women has been sculpted by my mother, who has been successful in raising two children whilst having an amazing career. This has personally magnified the respect and admiration I have for women, as tradition often follows with the working husband and at home wife. Having said this I don’t think all men have had the same experience I have had which has shaped my perspective.

What do you believe are the expectations of males versus females?

I personally believe that society forces males and females to be perceived in a certain way. For example, a man crying is seen as hyper emotional and a women cruising is seen as unladylike. These expectations restrict individual behaviour to their gender which can be unhealthy for both females and males. I hope that as society progresses with an increased awareness for gender equality that we can overcome these restrictions.

Did you ever want to break the mould? As you mentioned, vulnerability in males is frowned upon.

Yes, taking vulnerability as the example. I think it is healthy to be vulnerable at times. It shows that you are only human and I believe that acknowledging vulnerability allows us to grow, cope with pain and even overcome it. However, I still think the stereotype that showing vulnerability isn’t masculine still exists and it is down to us males to challenge this perspective and I think females play an important role in making us feel safe to do so.

It’s so refreshing to hear you say that Jason. We all have a role to play to make each other feel respected. Hearing your perspective makes it all about us just being – human.

I think it is healthy to be vulnerable at times. It shows that you are only human and I believe that acknowledging vulnerability allows us to grow, cope with pain and even overcome it.