Issue 02: Ask Ceci

Dear Ceci, I failed my math subject, but I am afraid to tell my parents. My papa is going to be so mad if he finds out. I feel so stupid and worthless! My mama always tells me to study harder, but even though I study hard, I still fail. Should I just give up and not care about it since I’m no good anyway?

– Jerome

Dear Jerome, I scored A in my Math O-Level and A-Level but I failed my Math tests while I was studying in school. So, out of my own experience, I can assure you it is alright to fail in Math but still get flying colors afterwards, we just have to figure out a method to attain the goal. In my personal struggle, I worked very hard but I disliked the subject even more as I forced myself to sit in front of a pile of Math exercises. To cut the story short, I gradually realized it was not about the amount of time I spent but about not knowing exactly why I failed in the subject. So, I approached my Math teacher, showed her my Math tests and asked where my weaknesses were. She gave me an individual evaluation and suggested ways for me to improve. As I followed her advice and began to spend more time on my weaknesses, I saw that my brain was trained and was able to solve problems that were beyond my capabilities before. Motivated by the improvement, I became more confident, found interest and started to score well in Math. So, I would also suggest you to talk to your Math teacher, ask for his/her suggestions regarding your situation and give it another try. When you share this idea with your parents, I believe they will also appreciate your trying and be supportive.

Dear Ceci, I’m 13 and I don’t have a lot of friends in school. My classmates are always ignoring me. One of my classmates punched me in the face but I could not punch him back because he is much bigger than me. I don’t want my classmates to think that I am a wimp so I pretended that it wasn’t painful. So he punched me 3 more times. I really wanted to cry because it hurt, but I am afraid that they’ll laugh at me. I’m so angry right now but I don’t know what to do.

– Wimpy Kid

Hi Wimpy Kid, I am sorry you have been hurt by your classmate, it must be a difficult time. Nobody wants to be wimpy and what you did show your determination. However, physical strength is not the only dimension of strength, especially when we are looking for the support we need in daily life. If we want to be strong in our everyday setting, we have to cultivate our mind to deal with challenges like the situation you are facing at the moment. I suggest talking to your teacher about this so he/she may support you with a safe and efficient plan when you communicate with your classmates. In the long run, try to join some school activities and make more friends, they can offer help and support in challenging situations too.

Dear Ceci, Do you have any advise on how to deal with a break up?

– Sadness is tough

Dear Sadness is Tough, I am sorry to hear about your breakup. The best way to deal with this is to understand that the breakup occurred not because you are not good enough but because you two did not suit each other. In this case, it will be best to end the relationship and look for someone else who is more suitable. Before the new guy comes, enrich your life with new opportunties and challenges even if it means,you have to start the journey by yourself. Take for instance, try to make some new friends, join a bookclub, learn a new skill or reach out to the community. The next guy may just be around the corner.

Dear Ceci, Can you give me some advise on choosing a college major?
– Puzzled Girl

Dear Puzzled Girl, Thank you for writing. College is the bridge between teenage and adulthood. Instead of focusing on the narrow concept of acquiring technical skills, it is more important to investigate the art of learning and learn the general skills of problem- solving in college. So, don’t be too worried about not knowing exactly what you want to choose. Instead, try out different internships, talk to people of various professions and think broadly whether you enjoy the field of arts, science or commerce. When you have the answer, pick a major related to the field, continue to explore your interests and learn the ways of the industry through practical experience in the subjects. Unless you have already decided the exact profession you want to engage in, the key is to choose a major that gives yourself more room to explore your interests and abilities.

Dear Ceci, How do you know what is the right job for you?

– MaryAnne.

Dear MaryAnne, Thank you for asking this question. We never know what is the right job until we give it a try. My suggestion is to be open-minded to learn about different careers and widen our horizon as much as possible by engaging in projects and internships of different fields. During the process, reflect upon yourselves to see which job makes you happy, talk to people of each profession to learn about the prospect of the industry and find a job that realizes your abilities for the betterment of the community.