Issue 01: Ask Ceci

Hi Ceci! I have a new friend. I really like her. We get on well, and have similar interests. But my mum doesn’t like her as she is not from a good enough background. How do I get my mum to let us hang out together?
– Julia 🙂

Hi Julia, everyone of us has no way to determine our background but we have every way to determine how we would like to live our lives to the full. I suggest you talk to your mom about how your friend shares similar interests with you, how you may influence each other in a good way and what both of you have been doing or are planning to do to cultivate your interests together. When your mom sees how positive this friendship is, I’m sure she will gradually change her mind.

Hi Ceci! My friends all wear really short skirts and cami tops, but I’m not comfortable wearing those. I’m self conscious and afraid I’ll be judged. At the same time, I get teased for being too covered up. Please help!
– Self-consciousGal

Dear Self-consciousGal, my suggestion is for you to dress in a way that makes you happy. We are not dolls who should look exactly the same. A true beauty is someone who discovers his/her own uniqueness and is confident enough to live according to it. If you feel happy putting on short skirts and cami tops, do so. If you feel happy covering up more, it is fine too. First of all, reflect upon yourself and identify who you are and what you like. Then, choose an outfit that suits you. Last but not the least, be confident and happy about your look. If your uniqueness is the source of your charm, the finishing touch is the confident smile on your face when you interact with other people.

Dear Ceci, now that we are studying from home, sometimes my camera is on; I’m not from a rich family and when my classmates see my background they make fun of me. How can I deal with this?
– Homeschooler

Hello Homeschooler, studying from home is a new experience for a lot of us and we need some time to adjust to the changes. As we try to get used to it, the most important thing is to remember why this has started in the first place – to help us acquire knowledge in a safe and efficient way. To achieve this, we have to create a suitable learning environment for ourselves.
Make sure you have a good light source, a neat space for writing and a computer with stable internet connection. If you have secured all these, you are as competent as any of your fellow classmates in an online class. Indeed, when your camera is on, people may see a small part of your home. However, we do not turn on our camera to compete for the most expensive house, we do so for our teachers to check our learning progress. I suggest you ignore the irrelevant things other people say and stay focused during class to gain knowledge. You will discover knowledge is more precious than gold and silver.

Hi Ceci! I just started at a new school that I really like. But I’m so lonely. I do not have a single close friend from my grade. I try to be friendly with loads of people, but I still am eating lunch by myself every day. I feel awkward sitting at other tables. I desperately need your advise.
– Lonely Luncher

Hi Lonely Luncher, this is indeed a situation that most of us encounter when we move to a new environment. What do you like about the new school? I would love to hear more about that next time. A good way to start making friends is to find someone who shares similar interests with you. Does your school have any clubs? If they do, you may try signing up for a club and making friends with club members. It will be easier to start a conversation with them, join their activities and have lunch when you have common interests. Aside from clubs, you may also volunteer in sports events or cultural events at school to meet people and make friends in a natural way.

Dear Ceci, I have a classmate that I’ve known from primary, he’s one of my dearest friends, and everyone assumes we’re together. I know he likes me, but I like another older boy. I don’t want to hurt my friend. What should I do?
– Friendzoned

Hi Friendzoned! First of all, it may be better for you to draw a line between a friend and a boyfriend within your heart. Then, you may try to reflect upon the relationship between you and your friend to check if you may have crossed the line without knowing it. If you are sure about your feelings, it will be best to protect your precious relationship by keeping distance within the line and never cross it even if he tries to. Whenever possible, you may also talk with him and express how much you treasure him as your friend. Normally, if you do so, he will understand how you want your relationship to develop in the future.